


Walk Down Memory Lane

by ImagineDragonflys



Category: Cyberpunk Red, Let's Play Cyberpunk Red - Polygon (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, M/M, its not great lads but you arent here for Good Writing youre here to yearn, this is as close to angst as ive gotten so far okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2020-10-20 09:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20672996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineDragonflys/pseuds/ImagineDragonflys
Summary: A stab at Burger talking about his Tragic Backstory(tm).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on a headcanon i have that burger chainz and vang0 bang0 knew each other before vang0 got amnesia. but neither of them realize they know each other because Technology and Denial and the like.

Vang0 knows Burger Chainz had someone at some point. His person or whatever. They’ve never talked about it. Vang0 pretends he doesn’t know. But it’s hard to ignore sometimes, when Burger will look at him for just a second like he’s someone else, before recognition flashes across his face and it morphs back to his normal jovial self.

He knows nothing about who they were and what they meant to him. Where they were now. It wasn’t his place to ask and feelings were miles outside his normal wheelhouse. It’s just something they don’t talk about. They don’t talk about Vang0 either. They talk about his career and his followers and what games he’s playing but never really about him. They’ve never talked about the warehouse. Not since that first night. Never talked about what it meant. It’s just not something they do. Easier to move forward than dwell on the past.

But there are times, lots of them recently, when Burger is driving them across the city, his metal jaw set tight. His eyes look glazed over and almost porcelain. Artificial and cold. As if they’d been replaced like so many of things. And there’s a sense of resolute sadness that radiates off him. Cocoons him in his own little imperceptible world. Those moments make Vang0 wish he could be the kind of person to ask the hard questions. To be the kind of person who could help. He can’t though. He wouldn’t even know where to start.

Vang0 thought he could just ignore it forever. If they kept busy enough, they could outrun their pasts. Get caught up in the ridiculous high jinks, the thrill of their dangerous work. One adrenaline rush to another. Never pausing long enough to reflect.

He’d done a pretty good job of it for a while, intentionally missed plenty of chances. Spaces where it would’ve been easy to just say _something_.

_It’s better this way,_ he told himself, _for both of us._

Vang0 should’ve known better than to think the past could actually stay buried. It was never dead.

Though he’d lived here for months now, the city was still a mystery to him. The dull buildings and sun-cracked sidewalk all looked the same to him. The neon lights of different bars and businesses indistinguishable even in his own neighborhood. Everything felt familiar and unfamiliar at the same time, monotony with no order or reason. So he didn’t know where they were, that was pretty normal. What was unusual was Burger. He’d been jittery and quiet all day. If Vang0 didn’t know him so well he’d say the big guy was anxious. For the life of him Vang0 couldn’t understand why. This was just a surveillance mission and an easy one at that. Not a gang den or a mob party, just a building they suspected might house a hacker whose expertise might prove useful.

Even with Burger’s weird energy things had been going smoothly so far, they’d managed to tail the woman they were after from a coffee shop and were confidently on their way to her building. Vang0 was caught up in pondering what sort of things he should keep track of. _How many people go into the building? What do they look like? Are they in groups? Are there other entrances we need to know about?_

He doesn’t even realize Burger isn’t next to him anymore until he goes to nudge him only to be met with open air. Vang0 turns around frantically but his eyes quickly find the unique metal line of Burger’s jaw. He’s standing stock still a dozen yards behind him, white as the steam coming off of the sewer grates.

Pushing his way through the thin flow of people, he approaches his friend with caution.

“Hey, bud. You good? We’re almost to her building.”

To his horror, when Burger looks down at him there’s an unmistakable shine of tears in his eyes. This is the moment he realizes. He’s supposed to take the leap. Comfort his friend even if he doesn’t understand. He opens his mouth not even knowing what he wants to say when the air is knocked out of him. It takes him a moment to realize Burger’s arms are wrapped tight around him and his breathing is uneven and labored and he’s actually _crying_, right into Vang0’s jacket. Not sobbing. Just silent weeps that shake Burger’s whole body. Vang0’s arms wrap around Burger’s broad shoulders awkwardly, he realizes in that moment he hasn’t hugged anyone in… Could it really be- Not since the night Burger Chainz had found him, helped him. It was the first time he’d seen someone in so long, he hadn’t even thought about it, he’d just done it. 

Despite the awkward positioning and the press of a crowd around them Vang0 found himself settling into it. Comfortable in a way he hadn’t been expecting. Like breaching the water and taking a breath of fresh air, not even realizing how long he’d been holding his breath.

When Burger pulls away, still breathing deep and unevenly, Vang0 pulls him to the curb and sits them down. There’s a million things he wants, needs, to say and ask but he can’t find the words for any of them.

“Um..”

“I used to live here,” Burger said. He pointed across the street from them, a nondescript building, as unreadable as every other building to Vang0, “There.”

Vang0 doesn’t know what to say to that but he looks at Burger, urging him to go on.

“When we first came to the city. Didn’t know anyone or anything about what was what here. Everything was so different and loud. Like being on an alien planet. We didn’t know this was a shittier part of town, didn’t even know enough to realize there weren’t any good parts.”

The “we” threw Vang0 off. He’d known there was someone. An amalgamous empty shape in Burger’s life where something used to be but hearing it was something entirely different. It set Vang0 on edge in a way he didn’t understand.

“People go missing here all the time. They don’t tell you that. No one really cares or thinks anything about it. Just is. But we didn’t know. We thought everything was finally starting, a whole new life. We had plans. I had plans…”

Burger closed up. His face going steely and cold, eyes still glued to the building across from them.

“What happened?” Vang0 asked quietly.

The city seemed quieter around them somehow, muffled, Vang0 could almost hear Burger’s shallow breathing.

“Nothing special. I was gone- two days on a job, no more than usual- and when I came back I could just feel it. Nothing looked wrong, no mess or signs of a fight or nothing. But it felt off, ya know? I could tell. I asked around about him but no one said they’d seen anything. I checked around. Waited a few days. Nothing. He’d just vanished.”

Vang0 started to ask but Burger spoke up before he could.

“He wouldn’t just leave. People tried to tell me that. It’s bullshit. I knew Puck. He wouldn’t do that. Not the type to bail on anyone… Like I said I waited a bit, maybe something came up. I thought about going to the cops but we were broke and by then I knew what this place was, how it worked. Even if he was there to find they never would’ve done it.”

After that he was quiet for so long Vang0 thought that might be the end of it. Everything seemed clouded and dull and Burger was fixated on the building, eyes unfocused.

“‘S how I met Dasha, actually. Heard she knew people. So I went to her for help, explained the whole thing, and then she explained it back to me. Like no one else would. She told me, sometimes people just go missing. No rhyme or reason they just do. Sometimes they turn up. As a body, as a name in the news, a new prisoner on the list, in a gang, arm candy to some bureaucrat. But she told me, not turning up was as good as a body. Two months, there was still a chance. They’d be in deep shit but they might still be breathing for the time being. If he showed up after six months, he was alive but he’d never be coming back but after that… No chance. People gone longer than that don’t get found. They just don’t.”

Burger sighed and rubbed his metal jaw with his hand.

“She helped me look for a while. I think she knew from the beginning there’d be nothing to find but she stuck around for me. But eventually I had to try to let go… Being stuck here wasn’t helping me and it wasn’t going to help him either. So I just left. I’ve been living in my van ever since. Haven’t been back till today, if you couldn’t tell.”

Vang0’s felt like his nerves were fried. Stiff and tingly in a way he couldn’t understand. His breathing was labored. He didn’t understand what was going on but he realized through whatever was happening to him that he needed to say something.

“I- I’m sorry,” he tried.

“Me too,” Burger said with a tight, rueful smile.

“No really, if I’d had any idea… I would’ve just done this on my own.”

Burger shook his head, “No, I would’ve ended up back here eventually. I’m, ah, well, I guess I’m glad it was with you. Not glad. Just- It’s good that you know, ya know?”

Again Vang0 was left unsure of what to say. So he did what he usually did, said the first thing that came into his mind.

“What was he like?”

“He was… a bit quiet. Smart as hell though, no idea how his mind worked. Liked to keep to his own a bit, no idea why he liked the city so much when he never wanted to leave the apartment. Didn’t fit in here at all, kept wearing his worn-out country clothes even after we bought new things. Said they felt more like him. He was kind of everything to me. Cheesy as it sounds. We never had much but I had him and he had me and that seemed like enough.”

They sat in silence for a while. Mission long since forgotten, the day ticking by inconsequentially. Vang0 sets a hand lightly on Burger’s shoulder at one point. An anchor. He remembers the day they’d met, Burger had found him in the warehouse, engrossed in his work and heedless of the outside world. He’d placed his hand on Vang0’s shoulder to get his attention, the first person he’d seen outside of a screen in all of his short memory. It had made him feel real, permanent. He hoped it offered some semblance of comfort to Burger now the way it had to him then.

Burger looked at Vang0, really looked at him, for the first time since he’d broken down. He still didn’t seem himself, his posture stiff and any trace of a smile distant. But he looked at Vang0 his eyes clear and bright and simply said, “I think Puck would’ve liked you.”

There was something with those words and the panicked feeling that still gripped Vang0. Something else he should be doing or saying, he knows. But the thought is locked off. A scab he wants to pick at but can’t. Won’t. Instead he takes a steadying breath and looks back at his friend with a small smile, “I think I would’ve liked him too.”


	2. A Step Further

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the sequel no one asked for wherein Vang0 starts getting memories of his past and realizes he's known Burger Chainz for longer than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't proofread this so im sorry if it sucks lol. also i havent rewatched the cyberpunk vid in a Minute so if this inconsistent that's on me. please note that i've never written a good fic in my life

It took Vang0 a long time to realize the dreams weren’t dreams. Maybe that said something about him, how willingly he accepted that even in his dreams he never questioned wanting to be around Burger as much as possible. Certainly, it was something he’d have to unpack at some point but for now, it could be happily filed away under “For Future Consideration” along with any other problem that couldn’t be solved through hacking. No, at first he hadn’t thought much of the dreams at all. The first time Burger had mentioned something that reminded him of them he’d shrugged it off as a coincidence, the second time was just deja vu, but by the third time, Vang0 started to think there might have been more going on.

There was a conclusion he reached so quickly he was sure it wasn’t true. It was too convenient. Too out there. And more than anything it could only be wishful thinking.

But the coincidences were piling up too high to ignore. Pop up ads that blocked his brain from functioning and at some point ignoring them would become more of a hindrance than giving in. So Vang0 started to pay more attention. Details would stand out to him. Expressions he’d never seen flashed across Burger’s face in the dreams, places he’d never visited but that he saw now in his mind with Burger at his side, bursts of feelings he didn’t recognize, the knowledge of what it felt like to hold Burger’s hand in his own. 

When Burger had told Vang0 about his past, Vang0 had felt odd. Not jealous or resentful or angry, not even uncomfortable. But he felt like there was some piece he was missing like there was a space in his mind where an image should be but it was empty. And that empty space became a scab. He tried desperately not to pick at it but it only became harder and harder to ignore. So he picked. That’s when the dreams started.

It only took him two months to realize the visions he saw at night weren’t normal dreams. Driving between locations on a simple data mining job, Burger had recounted a short story.

“So the back half of the van was just gone, cut clean off by a giant saw blade,” he gestured with his hands while he spoke, metal jaw squeaking slightly with each word, “Woulda seemed like something out of an old action movie if it weren’t for the fact that the saw took Rigs with it… Anyways, by the time that gang gets the cargo tied on half the building’s on fire but it didn’t explode-”

“Oh, right, “ Vang0 cut in, unthinking, “The sinkhole.”

Burger paused in his story, “How’d you know that?”

Vang0 paled, unsure, “You- Didn’t you tell me that?”  _ He must’ve to me right? How else would I- _

“I didn’t think so,” Burger’s voice came out calculated, which was worrying to say the least, “I-”

Vang0 hoped the octave jump in his voice wasn’t as noticeable as it felt as he rushed to say, “No, no I think you might’ve buddy. Maybe not in detail but don’t you remember that time I asked you about the weirdest ways you’ve almost died so we could compare notes?”

Burger settled both of his hands back onto the steering wheel, not looking convinced but clearly he could sense the discomfort Vang0 was doing such a bad job of hiding. He let out a low exhale before glancing at Vang0 again, “Right. And what was yours again? The plastic thing right? With the melting and the flip phone, right?”

And that was that. Burger let it drop because Burger was good like that. Never one to ask questions someone didn’t want to answer (at least not if that person wasn’t a person of interest in whatever their latest job was). 

Vang0 couldn’t let it go though. That moment weighed on him constantly, he was sure Burger could tell he was out of it though he didn’t say anything aside from asking if he was doing okay, leaving doors open for Vang0 to talk about it but Vang0 never took them. He couldn’t. Not when he didn’t understand what was happening for himself. He couldn’t unload his theories on Burger when he had no way of knowing if it was true or not. But it felt true.

_ What if they’re memories _ .

The thought had come to him while he listened to Burger hum next to him on the couch. He was pretending to be engrossed in a game but really he could barely focus on the mindless button-mashing with that damn song distracting him. He knew that song, not the words but the melody. He’d heard it in his dreams only there he’d actually known how to sing along. The memory was hazy but the tune stuck with him as clearly as he heard it gently reverberating from next to him. Vang0 Bang0 didn’t know that song, he’d never heard it before. But he  _ knew  _ it. The person he was in those dreams knew it. 

_ What if they’re memories _ .

It seemed absurd to think but as soon as the thought was allowed to form fully for the first time, the scab pulled loose. The wound finally began to bleed.

The realization wasn’t even entirely shocking, it had been lurking at the edges of his consciousness, daring him to take the chance to  _ believe _ just for a second and Vang0 had resisted. But now that he’d let the thought lose there was no holding it back, no hiding from the fact that no matter how impossible it sounded it felt true. It felt more true than anything Vang0 had dared to think might be true about himself. It was terrifying. That instant on the couch was enough to hollow him out completely. Suddenly the empty space in his mind was full, bursting at the seams with half-recalled memories of a person he never knew, but the person sitting on the couch where Vang0 had just been was empty. 

Vang0 didn’t offer much by way of explanation, simply claimed he had a headache before retreating into his bedroom and ignoring Burger’s worried eyes. He sunk into the sheets of his bed shutting his eyes to the world and trying to silence his mind.

When does a person stop being a person? Can they stop being one if they never even started? 

This should be a good thing. He’d wanted for so long to know about his past and better yet wouldn’t this make Burger happy? The giant question mark that had occupied his life for so long could finally be erased. If Vang0 told him, he could- maybe he could fix things. Give Burger the pieces he needed to make himself feel real again, the way he couldn’t do for himself.

But Vang0 didn’t feel grateful. He didn’t even know who Vang0 was and now he suddenly had to account for being this whole other person who he also didn’t know. He squeezed his eyes shut, selfishly willing the knowledge to go away. Getting to a place where he  _ wanted _ to be Vang0 had taken months and countless hours of dissecting half-truths with Burger, it felt like that had been ripped away from him. The safety blanket of his carefully crafted new identity torn to shreds in seconds like paper mache. All the hard work it had taken to build Vang0 into more than a name and a string of code and an empty warehouse was burned down.

Puck. He wasn’t Puck either, not really. No more than he was Vang0. They were both half-truths in human form, at least to him. If Vang0 was months spent alone and code and chrome, then Puck was blurred edges and dull senses and disjointed memories with no meaning. He knew the context for both of these identities, he got the big picture but not the specific. He could write biographies worth of events for the lives they had led but he couldn’t tell you a single real thing about them. Vang0, Puck, they were both unreal beings occupying the same space. He’d used Vang0 as his name because that’s what he was told, he answered when people called him “he” because it was easier than unpacking the mess of feelings the word invoked, he ignored the bright warmth that burned in his stomach when he was with Burger because he didn’t trust himself to know what it meant. “Vang0 Bang0” had never felt like a real person, he was just a veneer on top of the hollow body he walked around in. But this new knowledge only made that hollowness more profound. Now he had a different mask, Puck, this one with a name and a history and a person who cared about him more than anything but he was still hollow. He wasn’t Puck anymore than he was Vang0. All he had were their names. And how much did names really mean anyway?

The person who wasn’t Vang0 and wasn’t Puck pressed his face into the cool bed sheets, feeling the emptiness inside him swell and tug at him. As he sunk further into darkness, he stood on the precipice of that empty space and tried not to fall in.

\--

The dreams don’t stop and Vang0 doesn’t tell Burger Chainz. He should have, he knew that. But he couldn’t. It’s not a great feeling, keeping that to himself. It ate at him, the way Burger would start to tell a story and he would have to bite his tongue to stop himself from jumping in with facts he simply could not know. Or the way he could read Burger’s face with much more precision. It’d saved them some trouble a few times, Vang0 being able to sweep in when he could see Burger’s discomfort and get him out of bad situations.Or how he could tell when Burger was lying because of the way he scrunched his eyebrows. The worst thing though was knowing when Burger was sad about  _ him _ . Or, maybe not him exactly, but the guy he was before. Before the dreams, Vang0 would see Burger get that distant, lost look sometimes, the one he’d seen in full force that day on the curb outside of an apartment building Vang0 hadn’t seen in this lifetime. He’d feel bad for Burger, sure, he could tell he was hurting, feel it through the quiet but he felt detached from it. But now, Vang0 would see that look on Burger’s face and know he was the pain. And maybe he could make that pain go away, if he wasn’t such a coward.

The truth is Vang0’s scared. He was always scared from the very beginning. He was afraid that telling Burger would change everything, shatter the precious relationship they had that had become the most important thing in his life. More than streaming, more than hacking and warehouses and jobs and Dasha, Vang0 had Burger. And the idea that that could change was not something he could cope with even if it felt like a betrayal. Sure, it might help Burger to know what happened, to know the truth, but the fallout couldn’t be worth it could it. What if that sad look never left Burger’s face but instead of looking out at nothing it looked right into Vang0? What if Burger realized he couldn’t get Puck back and pushed him away? What if this fucked up the only good thing Vang0 had?

It was selfish and doomed to blow up in his face from the start but Vang0 kept his discovery to himself. A bomb he kept hidden that he had to diffuse every day or risk catastrophe. He managed a few months of calculated conversation and tactile avoidance but explosives are volatile and Vang0 had always been prone to impulsivity.

The job itself was meant to be simple. Just Vang0 and Burger picking up some unspecified payload from an abandoned barn 30 miles from Night City while Dasha ran a solo break-in mission simultaneously. Not even close to the most elaborate dupe they had tried to pull, there wasn’t even supposed to be anyone at the pickup site. Of course they weren’t that lucky.

As soon as Vang0 and Burger had gone to grab the obnoxiously purple box they’d been told to collect, a shot went off. It ricocheted around them as they ducked for cover, unsure exactly where the bullet had come from. Heavy footsteps echoed through the building, making it hard to tell where their assailants were and how many there were.

Another shot rang out, this time puncturing the box that still laid in the middle of the open floor where they had left it. Vang0 peaked his head over the crates he and Burger had huddled behind and got a quick glimpse. He could make out three figures across the building, headed toward Burger’s van.

“I count 3 but there could be more,” he whispered to Burger.

“What d’ya think?” Burger said, gun already ready in his hand. His face was placid and prepared, a look Vang0 is accustomed to both in his dreams and real life. Burger was ready for a fight.

Vang0 smirked, “I think I like our odds.”

“After you…”

Vang0 aimed his gun over the tops of the crate and took a quick shot before he ducked down again. He heard one of the goons cry out in pain. Burger leaned around and took aim at the same guy and Vang0 heard the body hit the floor. A silent conversation passed between the two and as Burger gave a nod they both stood up, each pointing their weapon at a different figure.

“Okay, folks. The funs over drop your weapons and we won’t drop you,” Vang0 said, in his most Vang0 voice.

“What do you want with our Zircon Neutralizers?” Goon Number One asked with a heavy southern accent.

“I don’t even know what that means,” Vang0 replied, “Just let us take our purple thing and leave.”

“‘Fraid we can’t let you do that,” Goon Number Two responded, his gun aimed at Burger.

“Guess we’re doing this the hard way then, right Burg- oh shit!” Vang0 yelled as three more figures appeared, but unlike the mostly human looking people before them, these figures were tall and thin, they moved mechanically. Infantry drones, old models too based on their stiff movements. Either way, three mechanical gunmen was three too many for Vang0 and he tried to tackle Burger out of the way as their first round of shots went off.

“Any ideas?” Vang0 asked, flinching as the bullets crazed overhead.

“Maybe?” Burger replied.

“That’s better than what I’ve got, go for it, bud.”

Burger pulled a small clip off of his belt, pressing down on a button before he threw it back towards their nameless foes. 

The gunshots stopped for a moment and then there was a single pop before a calamitous roar. The two human gunmen cried out as the back half of the barn was immediately engulfed in purple flames. Vang0 peaked around again to take in the scene. One of the robots was down and a yell from one of the gunmen was enough to know he was definitely on fire.

Burger takes another shot. Before ducking back, “Let’s head for the car, that fire’s gonna spread quick.”

They dashed out into the open, Vanbg0 covering for Burger as the big guy grabbed the payload by himself and hefted it towards the back of his van. As Burger got it inside, Vang0 aimed at one of the half-melted robots. Two shots in quick succession and the things crumbled to the floor.

As soon as Burger had shut the doors things went wrong, the other human gunman had slipped around the van, his gun pointed right at Vang0. Burger took the guy down just as his gun fired, the change in momentum messing up his aim and sending the bullet right into Vang0’s shoulder.

Vang0 cried out as Burger quickly led him to the passenger side of the van before running around to climb in himself, the building now thick with black smoke and purple flames licking up every wall. The car wouldn’t start, the engine stuttering before giving up.

“Fuck,” Burger Chainz spat as he hit his fist against the dashboard.

Vang0 pressed his hand against the wound, trying to stifle the blood “Well, this went to hell fast. Just like Old Vegas, right bud?”

Burger was looking back and forth frantically between the nonfunctioning AI panel and Vang0, concern bright in his eyes, “Whaddya mean? We never went to Old Vegas?”

Vang0 took a shaking breath and fought back the tears that stung at his eyes. He hadn’t expected getting shot to hurt this much, “Sure we did! Don’t you remember? I mean it was fireworks that lit everything up that time, I think. And Snipes and Colfax burned down that- wait.”

This had to be a nightmare. His brain was so scrambled by the pain he’d just forgotten the most important rule. Forgot to bite his tongue and swallow down the things he shouldn’t know. The adrenaline and the pain and the blood had made it all blur together, what was Vang0’s and what wasn’t. “Shit.”

“Vang0,” Burger said in a low, steely voice, “What does that mean?”

“I-” Vang0 tried, “It means what you think it means.”

“No. Vang0. I need you to tell me.”

Vang0 winced, “I- I know this is a lot to deal with right now. And you can be mad at me later but right now we need to get the hell out of here-”

“Tell me. Right now.”

“Fine! If it’ll get you to get us out of this mess, fine. I know that shit because I remember it. I was him, he’s not me. It’s a fucking mess that I would love to tell you all about if you can get us out of this goddamn inferno.”

This time when Burger hit the dashboard Vang0 couldn’t tell if it was to start the van or out of pure frustration but as his heavy hand made contact the old engine creaked, Keanu finally turned on, and the van burst to life. Burger floored the gas and flew out through the open barn doors, now wreathed in tendrilling purple flame.

They shot out into the open desert quickly leaving behind the plume of black smoke reaching skyward over the dry expanse of cracked earth. Burger didn’t say anything at first, glaring straight ahead with his face nearly expressionless, except for his eyes. They had that distant look again and it hit Vang0 with a force more painful than the gunshot. 

Vang0’s breath was labored but the silence was killing him so he forced himself to talk, fearing this may have been the last he saw of Burger one way or another.

“I didn’t mean to-”

“How long have you known,” Burger interjected.

“Uh, a few months…” he felt every inch of that hollow space inside him, it felt like it was pulling at the edges of him, trying to pull him in.

“A few months…” Burger repeats quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was going to,” he lied, “I was just afraid. I didn’t want to change things.”

“So instead you lied to me?”

“I was wrong.”

“Yeah. You were.”

The silence that fell over them was heavy, like the guilt that had sat at the bottom of Vang0’s stomach for months had finally burst out and now laid over everything.

“Do,” Vang0 choked on the words, “Do you hate me?”

“What?” Burger finally looked over at him, just for a second.

“I would understand if you did. Not just because I lied but… I mean. I’m not Puck. I’ve got some of his memories, but I’m not him. I don’t even know if I’m  _ me _ half the time, you know? So I’d get it, if you hated me. You wanted him back or to know what happened and now you’re stuck with a shitty consolation prize. I can’t be him, only me. And that’s gotta be a shitty trade.”

Burger sighed, his face shifting from placid to exhausted, “Vang0, I don’t think I could ever hate you. I’m mad at you, sure. But mostly I’m just… sad.”

“Sad he’s gone or-”

“Sad you didn’t tell me. Look, I told you all that stuff right, ‘bout him and me. ‘N I guess you know some of that now too. But I told you. I knew he was gone one way or another. Even if he was out there, it wouldn’t be him. I know you ain’t him Vang0, but I do know who you are. And how could I hate you for being that?”

“I don’t…” 

“It’s not your fault that you’re not him. It’s not your fault he’s gone. But you shoulda told me. Even if it wasn’t for any other reason than to have me help you track down the people who did this. Knowing who you were before’ll make that easier. Narrows it down a bit. Gives us something to work with.”

Vang0’s head was spinning both from the blood loss and the whiplash he was getting from the conversation, “You still wanna help me figure out what happened?”

“‘Course I do. I said I’d help you and I meant it. Now I just got even more reasons to kick that person’s ass.”

Stray tears slipped down Vang0’s cheeks, he was too full of pain and relief and guilt that he couldn’t be bothered to stop them. He took a minute to compose himself, trying to find the right words but nothing felt right. He settled for, “I’m sorry.”

Burger didn’t look at him, eyes still stuck on the horizon where they could slowly see the skyline of Night City coming into view in the fading light.

“I don’t forgive you,” Burger said, “But thank you for telling me. ‘M glad I at least know what happened to him.”

And as they drove back into the city they had both come to call their home, they didn’t say a word. Just sat in a silence that felt a little less heavy. Vang0 could still feel that hollowness inside him, a gaping abyss waiting for him to fall in. He teetered on the edge of it, afraid that he might fall in. But Vang0 knew that if he slipped, he had someone there to catch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading i hope it didn't suck too bad lmao. feel free to harass me on tumblr for more burgerbang0 shit if you feel like it @sheriffofmagic

**Author's Note:**

> please yell at me to write more of this, im trying to flunk out of college. @sheriffofmagic on tumblr for all your best and dumbest prompts.


End file.
